Chain of command (DoeHeart)

All they wanted was to make things right. Now, they learn how wrong they were.

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- Chapter 1: The mistakes we made

My very first original story for Tales. I really hope you guys like it, and I’m very open to all and any criticism. I’m eager to hear from everyone here, what do you think of these characters? What did you understand about their past and their world? was there anything that left you wondering? I will happily reply as much as I can, so please, share your thoughts :slight_smile:

It was quite challenging, for this competition, to not only establish characters and a world, but also to create an interpersonal connection that the readers will care about. If I could write it longer, I would have added so many more details. Their conversation would have been longer, slower. It’s difficult to speed things up and maintain reader engagement. I’m still not sure if I did it well or not :sweat_smile:

I liked this one sooo much! They are so adorable, and the ending really kept me thinking. I wish I could read more about these two (;

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Love this story! Highly recommended :heart:

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Short, sweet, and touching. Thanks for the read!

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that ending is so interesting!! and the characters are so well written! such a beautiful story.

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thank you :face_holding_back_tears: I really tried my best and I’m so glad that all the hard work paid off.

my pleasure :grin: it was such a nice opportunity to flex some writing muscles :sweat_smile: I’m glad it came out well :grin:

I’m really happy you liked it :grin: I hope more people will read it and enjoy it :grin:

Thank you! :grin: I kinda fell in love with these two myself and I would love to write more about them :grin: only question is, where will they find each other next time? :smiling_imp:

Absolutly AMAZING!! Loved every word of it :slight_smile: