As the heiress to the noble Astley family, you are invited to a festival hosted by the grandest kingdom in the land. However, you come across strange hints about a woman who you believe is your sister who disappeared many years ago. Will you find the truth of what happened with the help of new-found friends at the festival? Or will you also disappear like your sister?
Play on Mobile: https://link.talescreator.com/rjtdXgVTqtb
intriguing plot and interesting characters so far!
Love the characters!! Such a spicy love square too
Quite good and intruiging so far. The characters are captivating. However, if you wish to greatly improve the quality of your work, you should consider removing the use of “anyways”. “Anyways” isn’t a word. It is slang. It should only be used to portray derpy high school aged bubble-headed and shallow characters. As an editor and proofreader it instantly removes me from the intruige of the story, like eating a lovely sandwhich, only to find I’ve suddenly bitten down on something hard and foreign. It’s difficult to comprehend why a noblewoman, male middle aged townsfolk, and an obviously intelligent and capable main character, in what seems to be a medieval time would be using such modern and childish language.
I truly don’t understand when or why it has become so prevalent. The word is “anyway”, it always will be “anyway”, and it should be abolished from any writers work who wishes to be taken seriosly. Only use this slang, sparingly, for a certain type of character.
I am not trying to be harsh. I am trying to help you. I wouldn’t be saying this if your story weren’t good.